The ORIGINAL Diva

The coolest chick ever - I salute you Wonder Woman! What style, what grace and those legs! Yaw-ZUH! When I was a young lass, I would take tin foil and make myself wrist bracelets just like the kind she wore. I would don my bathing suit, marching boots from my 5th grade Flag Corp. outfit and run through our yard on my bike, pretending that it was my very own invisible airplane. Diana ruled!!

I'm sure I was a total sight with my long hair flying and my Dad's rope from the barn around my waist. Today's sunshine and breeze harkened me back to those happy times.

Thank you, Wonder Woman, for reminding me there is a little bit of Diva in all of us.

Maslow, Dr. Phil and Miss Cleo


We live in a world full of gadgets, gimmicks, fads and trends. In the mid-80's it became popular to explore oneself and find some new spiritual enlightenment that had previously been lacking. By the 90's everyone had some form of self-approvement in progress. If you weren't dieting, exercising, chemical peeling, colonicing, going organic, tuning in or tuning out, or on step-9 of a 12-step program, you were viewed as a freak who would eventually be institutionalized because someone made fun of your gold-plated "TCB" necklace you got on a whim at Graceland the summer of 1985.

Just yesterday, someone revealed to me that they would be attending an ISA seminar in Chicago over the weekend. For those less knowledgeable, that would be a "find your happy place" seminar where everyone "shares" and sings happy songs. I must admit I've done my share of "self-improvement" over the years, all contrary to the evidence. I have my own professional counselors on speed dial, a nice library of "why I'm so fucked up" books and have a fabulous vocabulary with words like "co-dependent", "overt guilt", "rationalization", "setting boundaries", that I can sprinkle throughout the course of a conversation with ease. At one point in time, I HAVE blamed my parents for my faults and failures and I have located my "inner child" What a brat!!

In the past few years, it has increasingly occurred to me that sometimes we're all just full of shit. Maybe we're so fucked up not because our parents were rotten but because we've made stupid mistakes and our inner child needs a good swift kick in the pants. I'll be the first to admit I'm a selfish person who likes things my way and I don't need Dr. Phil to spell that out for me or Miss Cleo to predict my next fuck-up. Admitting you have the problem is half the battle. "Hi, my name is Tracey and I'm a spoiled Diva".

Perhaps the most famous of all masters in the self-actualization movement is Dr. Abraham Maslow. He founded Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs. Here is what he had to say:

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.This is the need we may call self-actualization ... It refers to man's desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one is capable of becoming ..."

Honestly? That's good stuff in theory and I'm sure if someone applied these ideals to their life, they would probably enjoy a modicum of success. Charateristics of self-actualizing people are as follows, along with how I have adapted these to my life:

1. Realistic

The art of understanding the difference between a fart and a shart. Skid marks do not lie. Now that's real stuff.

2. Acceptance

This one's easy...I accept the fact that all women need a touch of lipstick.

3. Spontaneity, Simplicity and Naturalness

Simply and naturally, I love a spontaneous purchase of a new handbag. Just helps me find my "happy place" all over again.

4. Problem Centering

I'm easily centered when problems occur.......I can prove this by one slight flip of my middle finger. It works wonders in most situations.

5. Detachment/The Need for Privacy

This can be demonstrated when using public restrooms....also known as the "flush and drop" technique.

6. Autonomy: Independent of Culture & Environment

This one you have to be careful of. (Note, it's dangerous in today's time if you see someone wearing a turban to shout, "fire in the hole!")

7. Continual Freshness of Appreciation

This is perhaps one of my favorites, better known as "what have you done for me lately" syndrome. Ass-kissers get MAJOR points and should be rewarded accordingly.

8. Peak Experiences

Most of my peak experiences have involved alcohol and double AA batteries.

9. Interpersonal Relations

See number 8. References are provided upon request.

10. Democratic values and attitudes

Personally, I see myself as moderate in this area. I'm moderately certain that my mother would be shocked and appalled at my values and attitudes.

11. Discriminatory means and ends (good and evil)

I know evil therefore I am good at evil.

12. Philosophical, Unhostile sense of humor

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

13. Creativity

Perhaps where my brilliance shines the brightest. If you need to pull off a lie, heist, scheme or drama, I'm your gal.

14. Resistance to enculturation

I always tip the Mariuchi Band at the Mexican restaurant and smile ever so sweetly at Habeeb at my neighborhood Motel 6. (Note, the one at Long Hollow Pike is unusually clean.)

And there you have it! Dr. Maslow's work has helped many become the complete person they were created to be. So why is it that we are still pushed to sit on national TV so that a slightly overweight, balding man with a bad mustache yells how fucked up we are and spend $100 a minute for some Jamaican con-artist to predict your next suicide attempt?

Self-realize this people: see number 4 above.

The NEW Toys R Us

Diva's Dream Bathroom

Diva's Quotes of the Week:



"Inside me lives a skinny woman dying to get out; I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies."


"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

.....And the Oscar Went To................


Well another Oscar year is over. The statues have been given a home, the orchestra has gone home, the tinsel is being swept from the floors of many an "after" party location and I'm sure there are many still sleeping off the affects of last night's events.

As promised, I will review Diva's predictions over the actual win. I predicted 8 categories and of those, predicted 2 correct, but had 2 win out of Diva's personal choices. Here is how it played out:

Best Actor for a Leading Role:

Philip Seymour Hoffman for his portrayal of Truman Capote in "Capote". Diva predicted this one correctly and again, a man worthy of the honor. I have not seen Capote yet but I will. Any man that thanks his Mom is pretty okay by me.

Best Actress for a Leading Role:

Reese Witherspoon for her portrayal of June Carter Cash in " Walk The Line". What a wonderful surprise!! If you'll remember, this was Diva's Choice, thinking Charlize Theron would get the win. I'm glad I was wrong about this one. From the top of her beautiful blond head to the bottom of her 1951 Dior, bead-encrusted gown, she is a lady with class. Nashville should be proud for having produced such a wonderfully talented and gracious woman.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

George Clooney for his portrayal in "Syriana". Diva's prediction. George is epically cool and such the Hollywood actor. He reminds me of Cary Grant with his suave looks and charming, playful way. He's come a long way since his days on ER as Dr. Doug Ross.....the place where my infatuation began.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Rachel Weisz for her portrayal in "The Constant Gardner". I missed this one but in retrospect, I HAD almost listed her as Diva's prediction. I truly wanted Frances McDormand to get it but she is so NOT Hollywood, I should have known they would not allow her to have it. (Note: she REALLY needs a new hair style!)

Best Director of a Motion Picture:

Ang Lee for his direction of "Brokeback Mountain". Not Diva's Prediction but he was Diva's Choice. That's all I've got to say. He was gracious and I just like him.

Best Motion Picture:

"Crash" - a total surprise from out of left field. I have not seen the movie but I plan too now. They usually have one or two surprises each year and this was the biggie.

Best Original Score:

Gustavo Santaolalla for "Memoirs of a Geisha" - I was suprised that John Williams was passed over but this was an excellent win. The music in this movie is as breathtaking as the movie itself.

Best Original Song:

"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" - again, a total surprise and frankly a waste of a good Oscar. What were they thinking? I hate to say it, but this screams of "token, token, token". The "song" had FOUR lines. Count 'em FOUR. Very disappointing and hey, for be to actually act like you have some class while accepting your Oscar.

Well, there you have it. Diva did pretty well, I think. Overall, I think it was an okay show. I wasn't that impressed with the writing for Jon Stewart and others but hey....it IS Hollywood.

Before I close out this years Oscar Wrap-Up, you know I have to comment on the fasions seen on the red carpet. Overall? This was a good year. There weren't too many that I saw that were not beautiful and Oscar worthy. Here are some of my thoughts:

The most stunning lady of the evening? Hands down: Salma Hayek. She wore a gorgeous slate blue gown with her long flowing dark hair and very little jewelry or make-up other than beautiful red lipstick. Absolutely stunning!

Second would have to be cute Jennifer Anniston. She wore a long black tank gown by Rochas with a vintage Bulgari necklace from the 30's. She was bronzed and beautiful. Brad who??

Best Bling? Keira Knightley's stunning and HUGE Bulgari necklace of rubies, sapphires and emeralds.

Best Shoes? Also Keira Knightley in a pair of sparkling studded Jimmy Choo's strappy sandals.

Noteworthy: Ziyi Zhang in Armani, Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Garner and Reese Witherspoon.

Most gossip worthy: Sitting next to pretty Nicole Kidman was none other than the hunky crooner from the Outback, Keith Urban. Apparently the relationship is back "on". We'll see how long that lasts. Keith is a pretty boy but a playboy too. Ms. Kidman has no need for it.

Until the next award ceremony or fashion show, that's a wrap!

Diva's Oscar Predictions


Well, it's that time again.....the old guy is polished up, duplicated, engraved and quietly waiting on some conference table at Delotte and Touche for his grand 2006 appearance. The red carpets are laid and cocktails started yesterday around noon. This will continue into the wee hours of Monday morning - the culmination of Oscar Weekend.

I love awards show merely for the chance to mock, critique and swoon over the latest fashion creations. Who wore whom, what hair style, if any, what kind of shoes, who had the best bling, who came out of the closet, how many pictures did the paparazzi illegally garner etc. etc. It's always fascinated me that people who have been given money, fame and privilege are always the ones who seem to be the worst dressed. Point in hand, THE dress that J Lo wore about three or four years ago that people are STILL talking about. If that was a dress then a band-aid and two cotton balls will suffice for a swimsuit. I know exactly why people are still talking - they can't believe she wore a see-through scarf and called it a dress. What ever happened to Chanel or Valentino? Just goes to show you, just because you have money, doesn't mean you have class.

Anyway, back to prediction central...........

While chatting with a friend over lunch, I easily predicted the family pet's behavorial problems. Apparently, Pumpkin has not been very tidy while using the facilities for the last six months. After further discussion, since I AM a cat person, I smartly predicted that Pumpkin has been "acting out" due to the entry of a toddler in her midst. She is no longer receiving the attention she once did and frankly, this is unacceptable to cats and Diva's everywhere. Therefore, I decided that since I seem to have a gift for predictions, I would throw my list of Oscar predictions in the bowl with Slyvia Browne, Joan and Melissa, Cojo, and every other uptight critic that thinks their opinions are more valuable than Oprah's Book Club.

Best Actor In A Leading Role:

Nominees are:

Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Terrance Howard - Hustle & Flow
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix - Walk The Line
David Strathairn - Good Night and Good Luck

Diva's Prediction: Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote. Why? He's a fabulous character actor that has paid his dues and is very "in" right now. I say he will finally get his just rewards and rightly so. He oozes coolness....check him out in "Almost Famous" as Lester Banks.

Diva's Choice: Joaquin Phoenix - Walk The Line - not only did he sound like Johnny - he made you love Johnny.


Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

Nominees:
George Clooney - Syriana
Matt Dillon - Crash
Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain
William Hurt - A History of Violence

Diva's Prediction: George Clooney - Syriana. He's also very "in" and draws the ladies to the box office. I think George is a great actor and yes, very handsome. He's so the "it" Hollywood man right now....the academy will agree.

Diva's Choice: Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain - any straight guy that plays a gay guy and takes it like a "man" should be rewarded for his efforts. Nuff said!

Best Actress:

Nominees:
Judi Dench - Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Keira Knightley - Pride and Prejudice
Charlize Theron - North Country
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line

Diva's Prediction: Charlize Theron for North Country. Charlize has been building to this position over the last five years. She's smart, she's sexy and she can act. She played her role in North Country with no make-up or hair and still managed to look gorgeous. That alone is worth an Oscar in my book. The academy will agree.

Diva's Choice: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line. You have to root for our hometown girl made good. Reese made June Carter look damned attractive and she certainly convinced me that she is more than her former "Legally Blonde" roles have shown. I predict that if she doesn't get a surprise this year, within the next 2 to 3 years, she will bring Oscar home. Way to go TN girl!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Nominees:
Amy Adams - Junebug
Catherine Keener - Capote
Frances McDormand - North Country
Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain

Diva's Prediction: Amy Adams for Junebug. Why? Never heard of her OR the movie....they usually give it to an unknown and I figured why not Amy? (This is a very scientific prediction, you know.)

Diva's Choice: Frances McDormand for North Country. A great character actress that I have loved since "Almost Famous" (one of the best movies ever, reference Best Actor section). She never fails to capture your attention and even though she does not have the "hollywood look" she has the talent.

Best Director:

Nominees:
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Bennett Miller - Capote
Paul Haggis - Crash
George Clooney - Good Night and Good Luck
Steven Spielberg - Munich

Diva's Prediction: Steven Spielberg for Munich. Why? Because he's Spielberg. When has he NOT won? He continues to be the biggest of the heavy weights and besides, he owns half the studios in LA along with David Geffen. The academy will not bend.

Diva's Choice: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain. Through all the jokes, pokes and puns, Ang Lee has remained gracious. The movie if you haven't seen it, is breathtakingly heart wrenching. He's my man for this category.

Best Original Score:

Nominees:
Gustavo Santaolalla - Brokeback Mountain
Alberto Iglesias - The Constant Gardner
John Williams - Memoirs of a Geisha
John Williams - Munich
Dario Marianelli - Pride and Prejudice

Diva's Prediction: John Williams for Munich. The man is a musical genius and will win although you gotta love the Italians in this category. Since Spielberg will win direction, John will win the score. It's a Spielberg thang.

Diva's Choice: John Williams for Memoirs of a Geisha. The second movie this year I left sobbing (the first being Brokeback). The music is absolutely breathtaking and fully captured the story.

Best Original Song in a Motion Picture:

Nominees:
In the Deep - Crash
It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp - Hustle & Flow (forgive them Father for they have sinned)
Travelin Thru - Transamerica

Diva's Prediction: Travelin' Thru from Transamerica - music and lyric by Dolly Parton. Dolly is due a comeback movie song. I bet this is it.

Diva's Prediction: Travelin' Thru from Transamerica - the only category that my prediction and choice are the same.

There ya go....Diva's predictions and choices. I will update things on Monday and score myself for predictability. But wait! you say! What about all the other categories? Costume design, cinematography, screenplay, sound, etc. etc. Now be honest - do you REALLY give a rat's ass about all those other categories? I don't....so hey....best 'o luck to 'em.

......and the Oscar goes to................