Channeling Patsy Cline


It never fails! I do not care how exhausted I am, I will inevitably wake up around 3 a.m. each night. Sometimes I'm thirsty; sometimes I need to go to the potty and sometimes, like Tuesday night there is no apparent reason other than "Surprise By Design" is on Discovery Home Network and maybe in my sleep I heard the sweet sounds of Robert Verdi joking with Rebecca Cole, so therefore, I needed to wake up and watch it.

At any rate, there I was, snug in my bed with Hank Kitty by my side and bong eyes wide open. I look at the TV - yep...3 a.m. So I think, just lie still and hopefully drop back off to sleep. NOPE.

As I am prone to do...a tune begins percolating in my head. Why I believe it's "Crazy" by Patsy. Yep, you guessed it. I broke into full rendition, right there with Hank being the rapt audience as he has no other choice to be.....and I have to add.....I think it was probably one of the best renditions of her I've done yet.

Perhaps it was because the Peoples Choice Awards aired that evening on CBS. I only got the later half of the show and I highly suspect that I didn't miss anything in the first half that would have made any difference.

Being one of thousands of songwriters living in the metropolitan Nashville area, these shows discourage me greatly. Granted, the PCA's are not primarily music but some of the winners in the music category just boggle the mind. I don't get it. Perhaps the most discouraging of all is the fact that it really doesn't matter how talented you are vocally or instrumentally OR how great a songwriter. In fact, it really doesn't matter how BAD vocally, instrumentally or inept you area as a writer either. If one person with any clout or money happens to agree with you, you are allowed entry into the inner sanctum of celebrity.

Granted, it's not all about becoming a celebrity - well at least not for me - but more of being able to make a decent living doing what I feel I am most gifted to do and hopefully change the world in some small way.

Just to prove my point, I've made a list of ten songs that should have never made it but did:

1. Cracklin' Rosie - everyone's favorite made popular by Neil Diamond.
2. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini - I don't know & I don't care!
3. Disco Duck - this needs NO explanation.
4. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy - pipe down you TN hillbillies
5. Ice-Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (I guess that's the name of it)....can we say JOKE?
6. Anything by Weird Al Yankovic - nuff said!
7. Fidelity - Regina Spektor - my sources say she is on VH1 right now....heard it...she needs to stay home!!
8. Puppy Love - by Donny Osmond - gag me!!!
9. Beauty School Dropout - Franki Valli - okay LOVE the movie but do your own hair at home son!
10. Tall Paul - one of the one-hit wonders from the 50's....my source says it sucks big time! All I can think of that brand of cigarettes....Pall Mall? something like that. Anyway, it ain't good.

See my point? For those of you who google and aren't familiar with any of these....go take a listen....trust me....you'll agree. I'm sure there are hundreds more that need to be added to this list but given the space and time....ten is all you're getting.

As for me....until that ONE person comes along who has the keys to the celebrity door or at least the broom closet, I'll just keep writing and singing and channeling Patsy at 3 a.m. There are worse I could be channeling.