Wise Words From The Crapper


Given my propensity for being a wise-ass in most situations, I had to share these examples of wise-asserisms. I must give credit where credit is due and let you know they were imparted to me by Suzie Q, Portland, Oregon's hottest party girl.

* "Friends don't let friends take home ugly men."
Women's Restroom, Starboards, Dewey Beach, DE

* Beauty is only a light switch away."
Perkin's Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

* "If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together."
Armand's Pizza, Washington DC

* "No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit."
Men's Restroom, Linda's Bar & Grille, Chapel Hill, NC

* "At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry."
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

* "It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."
Written in dust on the back of a bus, Phoenix, AZ
(NOTE: OKAY this one WASN'T from the crapper, but it's damned funny.)

* "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."
Revolution Books, New York, NY
(Good point)

* "Express Lane, Five Beers Or Less"
Sign over urinal, Ed Debevics, AZ

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

* "If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it."
Women's Restroom, Dicks Last Resort, Dallas TX