Great Scots!!!


This past weekend I was invited to participate in the 3rd Annual Bannockburn celebration at Fort Donelson, Nashville, TN, at the home of Clan Kannard. This was my first venture into the world of the Scottish with their tartans and cries of "huzzah!"

Coming from a Dutch/English background, experiencing the heritage of others always fascinates me, especially if they are fiercely devoted and proud. My Dutch ancestors only seemed concerned with growing flowers, spinning windmills and clogging, while my English ancestors were busy drinking tea and snubbing their noses at everyone.

I found Clan Kannard to be exactly what I hoped a Scottish Clan would be - brave in heart (no pun intended) and fiercely proud of their heritage. From Senior Kannard, John, to the Smallest Kannard, Robert, these attributes were very evident.

June 24th marked the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn, led by Robert the Bruce, who in 1314 led this very important victory in the Wars of Scottish Independence.

As we joined together in the muggy night air, torches lit not only for light but to ward off pests, our Host Kannard, Brian, raised his glass and toasted the courage of his past ancestors that were so vigilant in procurring Scotland's independence.

I began to make several other observations about these proud Scots as the evening unfolded. Call me crazy, but they are a very interesting group. Such as:

1. They seem to be short of stature but stocky in build and attitude. I can not imagine anyone accusing one of them of having "little man" syndrome. At least not to live and tell about it, that is.

2. They like their women full-bodied but their scotch even stouter.

3. They have big balls. Eggs, sausage and toast are rolled into one big ball and deep fried, until they float. Once cool, they fit into the palm of your hand, perfect for nibbling on. (Freud would have a field day with this one!)

4. All Scottish descendents can mimic Sean Connery or Scottie from Star Trek, whether drunk or sober.

5. The saying, "eat your heart out" takes on a different connotation with the Scots who enjoy haggis as their national dish. For those who do not know what haggis is made of, it's sheeps heart, liver and lungs mixed with onions, oats and spices. Traditional haggis was encased in the lining of the sheeps stomach but more modern versions use casings, like a sausage and some are even sold in a can. I liken the canned version to be like SPAM.

6. They seem to enjoy stuffing their spoils and displaying them around the house. Some even act in a carnal regard to these poor, stuffed animals who once roamed the land. "Run Forest, run!"

7. Scots are usually fair skinned with blonde or red hair and light colored eyes. You know the look....sort of like Howdy Doody in a tartan kilt. (See example of the Doodster above.)

Overall, they are a most interesting group. I daresay I am already looking forward to next year's celebration and all things Scottish, however I was very disappointed that not one had a kilt. The question that is always forefront shall remain unanswered for another year: commando or covered?

HUZZAH!